May 19th 2012.

Oh yes. I never realized what was it before when this day has come.

I never realize that I wanted you so much.

I never realize that I can’t let you go. Even if I have, I have to find another way. Is it really the time for me to let go of you ? I never think that I should let you go. I’m not brave enough to face all of this shit, alone.

I never realize that I need you so badly in my life. Cos you’re almost there when I need somebody. Somebody to talk , somebody to make jokes around , somebody to cheer me up , somebody to love and to be loved.

I never realize that you are the one who smile to me , when everything’s so wrong and don’t belong.

I never realize that this heart. My heart. It doesn’t belong to me anymore. I feel like it belongs to you. I’ve trusted you to take care of my heart.

But, I can always live in my dream.

Today , you said you don’t love me like you used to. But then again you said , you still love me and you ask me to trust you. I never know and never realize that’s hurting me so damn much.

Should I trust you ?

Oh dear. You make my feeling and my heart so damn awful.

I just realized, I wanted you so much! I’m selfish, and I never want to let go of you! I need you!

Now , you’re just somebody that I used to know.

I don’t know how to be a normal girl , when everything isn’t normal in my eyes. What can I do except trying my best and hoping for the rest ?

I’m frustrated.

I’m broken.

I’m in an under deep depression.

I feel useless.

I feel like I’m just nothing in your eyes.

I know a million words won’t bring you back , bcos I’ve tried. Neither a million tears , bcos I’ve cried.

If there’s something I can do to make you come back in my arms, I’ll do. I’ll take that risks. I’ll take it for granted.

Yes I can live without you. I just don’t want to.

You said that I’m your last. So make me feel like I’m the last, I’m you’re only one.

But if you don’t. it means you don’t love me anymore. You don’t love me the way I do. You don’t need me the way I need you.

Thanks for being such a stupid reason for me to cry.